broken in a broken world

last night i gave up.

for those of you that know me well, you know that is a bold statement. i have never "given up" in my life.

(we won't discuss the organic chemistry class my sophomore year of college. that was a different type of giving up...)

last night i gave up on me. i decided i couldn't do it. i decided i needed an out, an escape. i needed my life back.

and then i walked up the stairs, received a hug, had a talk and walk with a good friend and everything was ok again. i decided not to give up.

how can one be broken when they are surrounded by brokenness. how do we prevent from becoming broken. i don't want to be callused but i also don't want to fall into a pit of despair. i want and need balance in my life and it is something i am striving to figure out every day.

you set boundaries you say. you stay in the word. you seek out mentors and a support system. but still there is something that breaks us. something that crumbles us up into little pieces and makes us feel more like a mess that needs to be swept up than a human being.

being a person is rough around the edges. damn.

why in these moments when we feel overly defeated do we tend to think of Armageddon.. the world is ending... there is nothing we can do.

why is being broken so hard.