it has been quite some time. quite sometime since i have taken the time to write down my thoughts. quite sometime since i have taken some time to process my thoughts. quite some time.
a season has come and gone, just as the rain (for atleast one more day) here in the pacific northwest. a season that has brought about both welcome, and very unwelcome change. a season of growing. a season of sharing. a season of learning and opening up.
a season in which, when we were at our deepest despair, our Father humbled us and using his children, his tools, picked us up... shook off the dirt....and told us we were going to be ok.
the last few months have been a rollercoaster ride, one that was seemingly stuck upside down with us as passengers in panic. maybe that suspension i have been in is a reasoning for my lack of ponderment.
i have been wondering lately if i will ever look back on the events of that last few months and smile.
on the inside. maybe.
on the outside...
i really doubt it.
it hasn't been easy but i've learned so much. we've learned so much. drew and i have grown together and learned what unity truly means.
i've learned that its ok to ask for help. you can't always do it on your own. i've learned that sometimes role reversal can do a lot to build a marriage. i've learned that i really can hate the rain and that lack of sunshine seriously depresses people. i've learned that sunshine turns washingtonians into animals (some fully clothed, some not, some with transparent bikinis, others with speedos). i've learned that popcorn and american idol is the best date night ever and that sometimes just a drive and a cool breeze is all you need. i've learned that a walk in the woods will clear your mind and a day by the lake is all you need to feel human again. i've learned that you can create coffee concoctions that are better than batdorf or starbucks and that sometimes if you combine the cans of what not in your cupboard and put it over rice, it is amazingly good. i've learned the kids will come back and the word will spread and that sometimes change works out better than you think it would. i've learned that it is always good to befriend a seamstress and better to learn to sew yourself. i've learned that one year olds will bite your ear, headbutt you, kick you, and scream no in your face... but will always make you smile two minutes later.
i've learned that really do love olympia and living downtown.
this is a bittersweet season of change. it is time for us to go. it is time to pass the torch onto someone else. God has bigger plans. for others and for us.
and while it is exciting to move on to the next season of our lives, there is some part of me that likes the security of what we have built these last few months. a security that was based upon a true lack of financial security. a security that forced us to build a new marriage centered soley on Him and depending on no one but our Father.
i look forward to the lessons that we will continue to learn. the adventures that we will continue to have. and the seasons that will be everchanging within our lives.
Olympia...it really is all about the coffee
Thursday, May 28, 2009
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celisa,
ReplyDeleteyou are a truly extraordinary crafted and created precious daughter of the most extravagant Savior. You were willing to give everything up to see those kids have a better life. Your pursuit of the Father's heart is extraordinary. humbling. inspiring. The season you've walked through is one i'm regrettably not part of, and for that i'm sorry. sorry i was not there for you when you really needed a friend, an outlet. Please forgive me for my selfishness. You did nothing wrong yet because of my own immaturity and lack of coping i pulled away. i'm sorry. You and your husband are extraordinary. created for something more perfect that we could ever dream of. Because of you i am changed, my heart for the less of this culture has grown, when i dreamed you were there to encourage. thank you. thank you for the late night talks, the ear that you lent when i desperately needed a rant. You sacrificed for me and i'm so extremely grateful. I'm sorry for the ass hole thins i've done. Please forgive me. i know that we are miles apart but i love you my dear friend and am so proud of you. You have become a steadfast woman of Jesus. You have wisdom, Jesus breathed knowledge, favor beyond your wildest dreams with Him. Please beg Him for the deepest desire and craving of your heart... don't ever let up :) He has a special place for you, set aside and waiting, with a beautiful new coat of paint on it.. ready for the new to come in and feel secure in His presence, protection, and provision. I think about you often, your laugh, our talks, all of it. thank you again for investing in me. I love you my dear dear friend. very much. i'm praying for you.